I want to cry.

I'm feeling abused, misled, and unhappy. Things are finally clear to me.

To tell the truth, I was thinking of running as VP-Int when I was chosen to be the AVP last semester. But due to avoidable circumstances, I've thought that if I did run for that position I would jeopardize another important factor in my life - my studies. And so, in thinking that I would have to prioritize one over the other I have given up the desire to run.

But why does the thought still haunt me? When Lea asked Meiling to run for VP I felt like I was being stabbed in the heart. I wanted to cry right then and there and say that "I want to run!" unfortunately, I can't. I feel so sorry for myself that I'm not able to do what I really want. See? Now I'm pitying myself. This so frustrating! >_<

I know that I was the one who chose this decision and it has consequences. But just let me whine because I've let a wonderful opportunity pass by. *cries*